I looked out my window today, saw the sun, and put on a t-shirt and shorts. Then, I went outside. Big mistake. The sun is out, the sky is clear, and it’s colder than a witch’s hoo-fob.

Why is the sun so cold in the winter? It’s the same sun that brought us so much warm in the spring and summer. Just a few weeks ago, the rays of sun warmed my face. But, now the sun is emitting icicles.

Or, maybe it’s just my mood. I can’t find comfort anywhere. I’m distracted and angry. I want to become like Lear and rage and scream against the wind. But, when Lear lost his mind, he still found no relief. So, I’ll keep my marbles for now.

I am angry. I’m angry at people who haven’t carried their share. Not all people, I’m angry at some very specific people starting with someone I refer to as ‘El Pendejo.’ I’d like to strangle him right now, but I’d settle for reaming him a new one. There’s also a certain Italian who is such a loser and thinks that his next great ‘deal’ is right around the corner. Yeah, at the end of the longest block in the universe. I’m angry at a couple of siblings who couldn’t open their hearts when they needed to and still don’t understand.

Most of all, I’m angry at myself for not being more assertive. I’m stubborn and bull-headed, but I did nothing. Why didn’t I nag, why didn’t I harp? Parents are supposed to do that. If we get through this, I promise to become the noodge of all times. I will never hesitate again. I will be a one-person truth squad too. No more fudging.

This is the winter of my discontent and the sun gives me no comfort. Nor, do I deserve any warmth or comfort. We get what we deserve in this life, one way or the other.