The HB got me to laughing yesterday. We were walking up the stairs and he mentioned Liz Taylor’s nose. Why would that make me laugh? Well, it’s another Mummy story.

When I was growing up, Mummy would often say, “Your nose is just like Elizabeth Taylor’s. As a matter of fact if your eyes hadn’t turned colour, you’d be taken for her.” Her attitude about my eye colour was that it was an act of defiance for me to let them change colour. Yes, Mummy was delusional. But my nose is my only feature that I am pleased with. I never believed her, quite about Liz Taylor’s nose. But, in the back of my mind I had always wondered. Then, one day I had the chance to see if anyone else believed it.

A friend of mine was in the hospital. Liz Taylor was in the same hospital recovering from an operation. She was married to Richard Burton at the time. One day I went to see my friend who was on the fourth floor. I entered the lift and pushed the button. The doors started to close. Suddenly a hand reached in to stop the doors. As the doors re-opened I could see that it was Richard Burton.

He said nothing to me, but reached across me to push the button for the fifth floor. “This is it!” I thought. If Richard Burton says, “My Gawd, you’ve got a nose just like Lizzie!” Then, I would believe Mum.

There we were,was just the 2 of us, in the lift. I tried not to look at him, but I gave him my profile. He said nothing. I tried to get the best light on my proboscis. He said nothing. I ever so casually looked up at the ceiling. Again, he said nothing. We were approaching my floor. I had one last chance: I cleared my throat a little and smiled. He looked up for a second, and said nothing.

As the doors opened on my floor, I thought of saying something, but I could think of nothing. I said to myself, the poor man’s distracted. His wife is in hospital. Your nose is perfectly fine, even if it isn’t like Liz Taylor’s.